Male cow's excrement and feminism

Yeah, bullshit. That's it, bullshit. Most of my blog has been dedicated to writing about bullshit, so as I'm rebooting this blog, I'm gonna go back to the basics. So again, I'm going to write about random bullshit for ages and see if people read me... Except this time I'm going to do it about politically incorrect bullshit in which I actually believe, no matter how many enemies I make doing this.

So, today, I'm going to talk about feminism.

First off, let's make this clear and loud, I am against feminism. I have nothing against women, but as the name of the movement clearly states, feminism is FOR women, and I am personally for a BALANCE between men and women. I am neither FOR men or women, but I am for a balance between the two. Hence, now that men and women have equal rights (yes, I insist on the term "rights", which is different from what actually happens), I believe that feminism is an obsolete movement. I do also believe that there are disparities between men and women which ought to be addressed, the average male/female income being the first and foremost of these problems. But I would tend to describe myself as a partisan of parity, not equality, of men and women.

It's been known for years that men and women don't have the same muscular and intellectual developments. Women hit puberty, and therefore intellectual maturity, earlier and men tend to develop more muscular abilities. Of course, these are general tendencies, and there are exceptions, because I personally believe I was fairly mature when I was a "child", and I'm not too muscular, although I'm a man, but I hope you still know what I mean. So what I'm saying right now is that equality is unnatural, because men and woman are naturally different.

So, how should we balance these differences? I'm not really sure. I am sure that a 30% income difference is not the answer, because if you do the calculus, 30% is basically 4 months a year, and whichever country you're living in, that would cover your costs if you got pregnant as soon as you finished your last pregnancy, which most people don't do, especially during the end of their career. And even if some people do, most don't, so fuck that shit. Maybe a 10% difference could account for the whole pregnancy period thing, but 30% is just bullshit. But that whole issue is difficult to put numbers on, because I'm not a company CEO, and I've never had to deal with it, but it still sounds stupid.

Moving on to a new subject, let's talk about being a gentleman, about chivalry, gallantry, etc... A lot of women still believe in this unholy tradition, and although I also see some kind of beauty to it, if women want parity (or equality or whatever), then they should forget about it. It's just hypocritical to want equal rights and expect men to hold doors open or whatever. Personally, no woman has ever held my chair while I sat down, just to tuck it in when I put my ass down and then, after, going to sit down by themselves. So if you like gallantry, forget about equality.

As a last point to this point, I'm going to point out a specific point (yeah, I like points). I'm going to make this about the toilet seat position. Many men just leave the seat up, because that's how they use it most of the time, and most women expect it to be down, because that's how they use it most of the time. This does not make sense. For one sex or the other (and fuck the whole "men sometimes use the seat down" and "falling into the toilet" arguments). The only real asexual, the only way to promote sexual parity, is to put seat AND cover down. First off, for hygiene reasons, it's better, and it's also perfectly asexual. Both sexes lift whatever they need to lift before they do whatever they need to do before they do it. It's not that complicated. I didn't always have such a consciousness, but when I got to puberty (roughly), it hit me that both (seat and lid) should be down once you're done. And for those who complain, small habits like that may be hard to change, and for the first two months you might be disoriented, but you can easily get used to it, so stop complaining.

End of rant.

I hope I didn't offend anyone too hashly, but I seriously believe everything I said. If you want to discuss it, talk to me.

Talk to you soon, and take care...

Unemployment

Well, I haven't updated this blog in ages (and I literally mean ages, as in, something like three years), and now that I'm officially unemployed, I have enough time to put up a few new messages. Anyhow, I'll keep this one short, but I will try and post a few new messages in the near future, so if anyone is reading this, let me know, so that I know if anyone's interested...

Take care

Censorship?

Let's just say that this is a sort of censorship test. Basically, if I die in the next few weeks, or if this post is somehow erased, then it would prove what I am about to say:

Our new president, Nicolas Sarkozy, is a dick.

You'll hate me after this

Well, I guess nobody even checks this blog out anymore, which is kind of normal given that I hadn't updated it in months, but I'm still gonna write a little piece about something that annoys just about everyone (which is why you'll hate me): politics. Or actually, to be more precise, politicians.

As you may know, the presidential elections in France are very close (first round this weekend, second one two weeks after). Obviously, newspapers here have been talking about for months, and I guess it's been mentioned on the international scale too, but I just wanted to do a quick inventory of our 12 candidates to give you guys some insight as to how fucked up this is going to be...
But just before I start, I have a few things to mention. First off, I haven't read and seen everything, so don't just take my word for absolute truth, and go fish for information yourselves. Then, as I just mentioned, there are twelve wannabe presidents, 4 of them have between 15 and 30% votes in the polls and the eight others just share the, like, 20% left. After the first round, we keep only the two who got the most votes, and vote for one of the two in the second round (unless someone gets more than 50% in the first round, in which case there is no second round, but that is not very likely to happen). So, I'll mainly be talking about the four main guys, and then just a quick note on the others...

Jean-Marie Le Pen: extreme right wing candidate, who created the whole scandal (I don't know how it was on the international scale, but here in France it wast a big fucking scandal) of going to the second round for the last presidential elections (in 2002). He's the oldest of all the candidates (almost 80 years old). No point in talking about his political views, extreme right wing ought to say it all. The funny thing is that he hires arabs and black people (or whetever the politically correct terms are) to campaign for him, saying that being born in France, they're French, but then wanting to close our borders for good. He refuses to give an official statement concerning the Shoah, because last time he did it ended up in a big lawsuit (which he lost, haha). One of my favorite facts about him, is that he managed in an official TV interview to say that he was a socialist-nationalist and the interviewer didn't pick up on it (think national-socialism which, once upon a time, was shortened to these four letters: nazi). Apparently, he'd get roughly 14% votes (but keep in mind that in 2002, polls gave him 12% and he got 17%, letting him in on the second round).

Nicolas Sarkozy: official candidate for the major right wing party, bordering on the extreme (because he takes most of Le Pen's points concerning national security and makes them his, therefore getting votes from normal right wing people and from extreme right wing too). I like to compare him to (and apparently the Chinese media does too according to a Chinese friend of mine) Napoleon. By that I mean that he's short and I can't stop thinking that he's seriously trying to compensate for it. What's most disturbing about him is that he's really confident, and compared to the other candidates, it gives the feeling that he's the one who'd actually work the hardest to get things to change. However, his ideas of change are to throw all foreigners back in their home country, especially if they live in one of our "urban ghettoes" (those places where a bunch of cars were burning back in November 2005). Incidentally, he's more or less responsible for making November 2005 what it was, and actually gained popularity at the time by pointing out the issue of insecurity in our own country. He'd get something like 26% votes.

Ségolène Royal: this is a tough one. She's the official candidate for the major left wing party, which I generally agree with most. But for some reason, I don't really like her. It's like, she's literally and figuratively a pussy. Let me explain. She's a she, a chick, a girl, a female (whatever term you prefer) and is counting on that single fact to get most women to vote for her. Well, ok, some will, and even some men will probably vote for her based solely on that fact. And seriously, I wouldn't mind having a woman as president. But here's where the figurative pussy kicks in: most of her campaigning was just answering to Sarkozy. He talks about insecurity, she'll talk about insecurity. He talks about unemployment, and taxes, and blablabla, she'll talk about unemloyment and taxes and blablabla. Then again, Sarkozy was probably stealing his material off Le Pen, and then she followed suit, obviously not dealing with them the same way as the others, but somehow she just comes out of it looking like she can't decide what to talk about by herself. Basically, in my honest opinion, she doesn't have the balls (and I don't mean that as a misogynistic joke). She's supposed to get like 23% votes.

François Bayrou: last but not least among our fantastic four, neither right nor left wing according to him (because he claims he's had enough of this petty duelling between the major left and right wing parties), but generally described as centre right wing, I like to describe him as a teddy bear. I mean, he somehow seems like a nice guy, his political opinions aren't TOO bad, and at least he doesn't look like he's planning all his speaches according to what this or that other candidate said. But somehow he doesn't have the charisma. If he were president, I'd be afraid that all the other countries would come asking us for favors, and he'd just agree to help them all. I somehow can't imagine him being affirmative (or maybe the word I'm looking for is assertive) enough. He's a bit of an outsider in this whole thing, but still gets reasonable results in the polls: something like 18% votes.

We now move on to the eight minor candidates (and don't worry, this won't be too long):
Olivier Besancenot: he's a postman, and his political party is called the communist revolutionary league. Apart from that (which already says a lot about the man) he did actually get quite a lot of people (young electors, mainly in the aforementioned "urban ghettoes") to actually go get their names on the electoral lists.
Frédéric Nihous: his party is hunting, fishing, nature and traditions. The fun thing about him is that he has ABSOLUTELY no opinion concerning international issues. He's 100% concerned about farmers and hunters and stuff like that. Nothing else.
José Bové: he's kind of weird. First off, I think he's in prison right now (like, was imprisoned at the beginning of the electoral race and would get out if elected as president, but very unlikely). I actually don't know that much about his political views, but I know that he wants to totally ban GMOs and that he raped Ronald McDonald (well, to tell the truth, he destroyed a couple of McDonald's).
Marie-George Buffet: woman and communist. I don't know what else to say...
Philippe de Villiers: this guy has a few fun points in his program. The ones I prefer are to make uniforms in school mandatory, and also to get a French flag in every school recreation area...
Dominique Voynet: where would an election be without someone shouting "sustainable development" (actually, someone did most of the shouting in her stead, Nicolas Hulot, but that's a long story). So, this is our green party candidate.
Arlette Laguiller: candidate for a minor left wing party, what's amazing about this woman is that she's benn candidate in every election for as far as I can remember...
Gérard Schivardi: last but not least, or maybe so, last and least, the only thing I know about this guy is that he wants to cut all our ties to Europe and the European Union, get the good old franc back instead of the euro, and stuff like that. Yeah right...

So, there you go, I hope you enjoyed the read. Once again, go fish for information yourselves if you actually give a shit (which you probably do if you're still reading) because I'm VERY far from being a political expert, I just wanted to express my views on the situation, which I see as a big bag of turd.

Fuck this shit.

Update

Yeah, it's been the better part of a year since I last wrote in this blog, but I haven't forgotten it. I even thought about writing quite a few times, but being a lazy ass mofo I never actually got to the part where I actually write something. That time has come to an end, because as you can see I'm writing this right now (or, when you'll read this, I have written this, but tight now I'm not over yet (whatever)).

So, where're things at right now? Well, as most of you know, I'm doing a PhD (whatever the fuck that means, probably something like Plumbing Hardware Dispatcher) in Strasbourg, and things are going mostly well (ie I like the PhD, but the results of my experiments don't suit me, which is more or less of a classic for a PhD). But that's not the point I wanted to develop in this post. No, what I really wanted to talk about was...

Yes, Berlin was ours, but soon Chile will be mine, oh yes, she will be mine. Basically, instead of just glueing my ass to my seat and just complaining about how all my mates from last year are all far from here, I've decided to go and see them. Yes, I will be going to Chile. Well, all isn't arranged yet, but I know I'll do it. It's like Nike: just do it. So a whole bunch of the people I was whining about in my last post, because they were gone, I'll see next summer (or winter, according to which hemisphere you consider).
Yes, I'm still a lazy asss mofo, but I've decided that whining wasn't the solution to my problems, and have therefore decided to go there instead of just scratching my balls and complaining.

Ok, that's said and almost done (it'll be done by August normally). But while I'm at it ("it" being writing a post here in my blog) I'll tell you of a little story, something that happened to me some time ago (cause I can't write everything that happened to me since last time), actually my first real going out in Strasbourg...

So, it all started out as a sort of special dinner at the place where I do my PhD, because I started in december, and they have these special dinners for christmas and some other special occasions. SO, they'd bought a bunch of wine and prepared a "raclette" (for all you non-French ou there, if you like stinky cheese, try it out). So we all had dinner together, me, my PhD friends, and all the more official people working there. So, I drank some wine, always behaving myself properly because I knew I was with some important people, and ate not too much, because I only had enough money to get drunk on an empty stomach. After the meal, with my mates, we went out to have a few drinks (too many) bacause it was the birthday of one of them. So, obviously, as you can guess, I got reasonably drunk, just enough to not remember what I did for a while. I managed to gather this much the following week: I left at roughly 3 AM. But I do remember that I was still walking around town when the sun rose, when I realised I was too drunk to find my way home, at which point a tobacconist's agreed to call a taxi to bring me home (yes, I remembered my address). That's not the funny part (although you may make fun of me for it).
No, the really funny part was what happened in the next couple of days. When I woke up at home, I realised that I'd forgotten my backpack at the bar we'd been to. So after a couple of calls to get the appropriate pgone number, I call the bar, and ask them if they still have my bag. They tell me that they do, so all's good. But I was too tired to go get it that day. So I tell them I'll come and get it the next day. The Problem being that the aforementioned bar only opens at 10 PM. As I had some presents to buy (Xmas was coming up), I went into town to find some stuff, and then just drank a few pints until the bar which had my backpack opened. And here comes the funny part...
I was just sitting at one corner of the bar, alone, doing nothing, just watching people go by, when some other guy starts miming to me that he'll offer me a beer. Being a dickhead, I agree to it. So the guy pays my next beer, and then comes over, and starts talking. So, the guy wasn't some evil raping asshole. But, basically, that was the time when I fully understood the definition of "metrosexual". When the guy started saying things like "No, I'm not gay, but if you want me to suck your dick, just say so...", that's when you know something's wrong. But I just couldn't tell him to go fuck himself, the guy had payed my beer and was willing to pay a few more...
Long story short, the guy paid me two or three pints, and it was really very awkward talking to him (he even wanted to swap phone numbers), but in the end I got my backpack and all was right, but I never really felt the same way after that about 40 year old guys hanging around in bars...

Ah, whatever, I don't really know what else I can talk about, so take care y'all, and hope to see you soon

In English, please...

Because every once in a while I have to post something in English, I'll do it now. And I already know what I'm gonna write about: how much of a pussy I am.

So, whoever would dare to think of me as a pussy anyway? Well, nobody, of course, cause I'm not really a pussy, and because everybody can just smell the testosterone flowing in my veins. But I have to admit that for the last 30 hours I have been a total pussy, a wuss among wusses (no homophobia, please, I just mean that... read on and you'll understand).

So, why am I such a pussy (yes, I do realize that I've used the word "pussy" a lot)? Well, it's all very simple once the context is in place. What is the context? Well, it's a long story, but I'm sure you'll keep on reading anyway... It all started like october the 4th, after a few days of staying at a random German guy's place, I got here to Siegmunds Hof (basically, the closest they have here in Germany to a campus, where a whole bunch of Erasmus people live and hang around). That's when I moved in to what was to be my home for a year. After a few hours of admiring my room (4 walls, a bed and a desk), I decided I ought to get to know a few people, so I moved my ass and got it as far as the common living room. And this is actually when it all started: I met Pedro and Jorge (and whoever the fuck, it was a long time ago), my new neighbours. That was the beginning of meeting roughly 15 Chileans and twice as much Spanish. Just to quote a few, and because they deserve it: Ruben, Tachy, Javier, Jorge, Jorge, Bernardo, Gerard, Andrea and sorry for all those I didn't mention (I still love you all) and a bunch more of people who only got there in April.

What we had for a year (or only half of it) was fantastic. Nobody can take it from us. It was among the bestest times of my life (like, short from bieng born, which wasn't all that good cause some random lady slapped my ass). We spent our year living the life Karl Marx would have dreamt of (whoever is wondering why him, you can go stuff an onion in your pussy (and I mean it literally, like, your female cat)), or maybe Eramsus for that matter. Even Tyler Durden would be jealouse (same footnote as before). We had all the laughs, all the parties, all the good times, and basically every good thing there was to have. And I'm know I'm gonna repeat myself when saying this, but fuck it. NOBODY COULD TAKE IT FROM US. Nobody, as in not a single person. But, as we all know, it's not people who decide how this world goes round, but circumstances. And for whatever fucking reason they found good enough, they didn't allow us to all stay together the aeons to come before the world collapses...

Yes, as they say (whoever the fuck is "they" ?), for every beginning there is an ending. And this is where I became the fucking pussy I was talking about earlier on (me): most of them are gone. Yes, they are gone. They have abandonned me to go back to a country where they allow a woman to be president (for the Chileans) or just basically (yes, it's probably the fourth time I say basically) far from here. And the bitchy thing about it is that all those who are gone, not having managed to sell all of their stuff, have left it all to me. So now, I'm sitting in my room with all of their stuff, therefore making it impossible for me to think about anything else than them. And yes, I miss them already. That's why I'm such a pussy: I've been crying for the better part of the last 30 hours. Crying like a big fat pussy. I think I don't have any more tears for a while...

Somehow, this is like my goodbye message to them (I have to send them the address of this blog), but at the same time it's only an introduction to what is yet to come. If ever I didn't know where to go for a vacation, that problem is now remedied. I can travel the world and see a friend on every continent (even if you count North and South America as two separate continents) (maybe except the arctic pole...).

This post is for all you guys. For every single person I ever raised my glass to, whether male or female, straight or gay, smart or stupid, friend or foe... wait, no, that last one was stupid, I'm not writing this post for my enemies. But then again, I don't really have any enemies. I love you all. You all kick ass.

(if I had some sort of smiley with a heart for my blog, it would be here)

I LOVE YOU ALL

La Coupe du Monde de Football 2006 à Berlin...

j'm'en foot, pour ne pas dire que je m'en fouts royalement.

Ainsi, après le premier match de la France, après s'être pris une branlée contre la Suisse (0-0 contre eux c'est comme si on s'était pris 3-0 contre l'Iran (pas de préjugés, s'il vous plait, mais ça reste une équipe pas très forte)), j'ai décidé d'appliquer de façon exagérée une de mes blagues préférées : faire croire que je suis anglais. Au moins les anglais ils ont gagnés.

Et parce que je suis pas content, pas de citation pour cette fois-ci...